When you can't upset others but upset yourself

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There are so many times in our lives when someone heckles us, harasses us, cheats us, or trumps all over us. They backbite, scheme, shame us or do any other thing to make us feel like absolutely nothing. The perpetrator is clearly wrong and needs to be taught a lesson but we meek out. Very often its because we are 'nice people', or we do not want to create a scene, and simply do not want any big 'issues' in life. It may be because we do not want to ridicule someone or, very importantly, we don't want others to think bad about us and ruin a relationship

Why do we think like that? It may always not be sign of weakness, but very often it can be.  It got me wondering when I had a similar issue recently and I had to convince myself that I could get through this difficult feeling of helplessness. It was a time when I myself had a difficult time even talking to the person who had wronged me After a lot of thinking and finally a self hypnosis session I realized


'I just wanted to come across as a nice guy and not make them dislike me'. 


Why would I want that? obviously because of low self esteem and the need for love. I needed to be liked. But what could say to convince myself that I did not need 'their love' and that I am ok 'with confrontation'

Well, as I said, the answer differs for everyone. For me I had to first realise

'I do have the capacity to deal with this NOW and EVERYTIME'.

I had to repeat this to myself all the time or when in self hypnosis. I also had to say

'I love myself, and that is enough. The people who matter, love me, and that is enough. I do not need anyones love for the wrong reason, I have to do the right thing. I am already loved enough'

So on and so forth, until I convinced myself that I do not need someones love and I can displase others, I can surprise others with my attitude, I can change and it does not matter what they think.

I convinced myself that I already have enough love in my life and did not need someone else's love!

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