Friends and Family
Some times it does get hard to convince oneself of the reality. It gets hard to keep our negative self talk under control or perhaps the loss is so great or the event so emotional, that it makes us question our long held positive beliefs. These are times when people end up at therapy, or get depressed. However there are other ways to manage the most difficult phases in life.
As you know, I do not like to give a 'one size fits all solution' to a problem and encourage us to know how to effectively 'convince ourselves' of positive reality, to give ourselves helpful thoughts, in anyway possible, so we can deal with a situation. What I mention below however is not a technique but the most fundamental way of being happy.
The best way to remain happy, or to remain positive after a failure, or to remind yourself that your life is still full of love, is to ensure that you have great and loving friends and family around you.
This is the most powerful resource we have as human beings. You see, we are social animals and we are wired to have strength and happiness through the relationships we make. In the past 100 years we have grown to become increasingly individualized which is why society is far unhappier than it used to be. We try to find solutions in possessions, achievements, in self help books, when the most fundamental part of the puzzle is not in place. When our foundations for living are not strong, there is only so much we can get through making more money, or becoming more successful.
Of course, these relationships can be annoying at times, in fact they can become the most difficult things in life, which is why we need to take care of them the most. Everything involved pain to some extent, be it going to the gym or eyeing a new promotion or preparing for a sports challenge, everything involved pain. However the pain in relationship also gives back heavily. This is something that one understands only when one is going through troublesome times and we need loving people to help us through
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In today's world, we are almost held up high for being independent and individualistic however the recent recession (2008) showed everyone in countries such as the US, or Spain or Portugal, how important family, parents, friends really are. Millions of people had to move in with their parents after university, many had to start new careers and no one would have been able to get through those times without the support of genuine loving relationships in their life.
Sometimes, one just needs a good phone call or a hug, to convince oneself that this is not the end of the world. That is, at the end of the day, why we are a 'civilization'. We are at our best and healthiest, when we are with others.
As you know, I do not like to give a 'one size fits all solution' to a problem and encourage us to know how to effectively 'convince ourselves' of positive reality, to give ourselves helpful thoughts, in anyway possible, so we can deal with a situation. What I mention below however is not a technique but the most fundamental way of being happy.
The best way to remain happy, or to remain positive after a failure, or to remind yourself that your life is still full of love, is to ensure that you have great and loving friends and family around you.
This is the most powerful resource we have as human beings. You see, we are social animals and we are wired to have strength and happiness through the relationships we make. In the past 100 years we have grown to become increasingly individualized which is why society is far unhappier than it used to be. We try to find solutions in possessions, achievements, in self help books, when the most fundamental part of the puzzle is not in place. When our foundations for living are not strong, there is only so much we can get through making more money, or becoming more successful.
Of course, these relationships can be annoying at times, in fact they can become the most difficult things in life, which is why we need to take care of them the most. Everything involved pain to some extent, be it going to the gym or eyeing a new promotion or preparing for a sports challenge, everything involved pain. However the pain in relationship also gives back heavily. This is something that one understands only when one is going through troublesome times and we need loving people to help us through
Sometimes, one just needs a good phone call or a hug, to convince oneself that this is not the end of the world. That is, at the end of the day, why we are a 'civilization'. We are at our best and healthiest, when we are with others.
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