Convincing Ourselves

The idea of having healthy levels of self-esteem, self-worth, and confidence is well recognized in psychology literature. In fact, since at least the 70s there has been a lot of work done on this and for a few decades raising self-esteem and self-worth was considered pivotal in treating clients with psychological disorders, bringing up healthy children, and even success in general. The idea of 'ego strengthening', as it came to be known in hypnosis literature, was ubiquitous in almost all kinds of therapy and change. However, while going through some videos of Jordan Peterson discussing the idea of social hierarchies and going through some literature on related ideas, I begun to wonder if ego strengthening alone is enough, or perhaps have we defined it well enough. Success in a society means being on top of the social hierarchy. You are the CEO, the Politician, or were born in or married into money and power. Whatever shame or form it takes, success is being on to...

Introduction Influencing the general public is a hotly debated topic in the policy. In any form of government reforms and agendas have to be 'sold' to the public. The government has traditionally been done through information dissemination through the media and done so quite effectively. An example can be of course selling wars or military interventions to the public. When the intent, however, is misinformation on a large scale, it becomes 'propaganda'. Despite its negative connotations, it is surely been present in democracies, as much as in dictatorships. A few years ago we have seen a move towards 'Nudging' individuals also called the Nudge Theory. This was popularized by Book by Cass Sunstein and Richard Thaler in their book ' Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness '. An example of this could be the wording on a referendum to discourage a certain outcome or perhaps limiting choices for the consumers on the type o...

Many people go around life aimlessly. Comparing themselves to others, not knowing what the next day, month or year will bring for them. There is a sense of being unfulfilled or unhappy, often resulting in depression in the most extreme form. For most people, the reason is simple. They simply have no goals No goals for their life, no goals for their health, no goals for their profession. Without a set goal and path, we simply lack a direction and a purpose. This not only results in confusion but also anxiety and depression. One of the reasons ‘life coaching’ is so big now is because a lot of the uncertainty and anxiety that people face in everyday life has to do with not unfulfilled goals, but simply not even knowing what they really want. Having goals differentiates purposeful living from living aimlessly. It is perhaps the easiest and quickest key to overcoming paralysis, procrastination, and unhappiness and moving towards success that is personally gratifying. The quest...

Stress and Anxiety can put us in the extreme state of ‘fight or flight’ which prepares our body for short bursts of high intensity. However, the body undergoes considerable stress and therefore requires a counter state to balance and heal the body and the mind.   According to the book ‘Relaxation Response’ by the Harvard physician Herbert Benson, we can help our body relax and take it into a ‘rest and digest’ state. This helps the body and the mind manage stress. This essentially is the principal of most forms of meditation as well as prayer. One of the simplest ways to initiate a ‘Relaxation Response’ is simply to focus on one's breath for a prolonged period of time. As the mind wanders, one brings it back. For me, I can categorically feel when my body’s relaxation response is triggered. Regularly triggering a relaxation response can help overcome most of the scars caused by day to day stress and therefore help us become happier and more productive. Umair Usman ...

We daily encounter situations which are uncomfortable. It can be talking to a boss, going into a meeting and for some even getting up to take a walk. Whatever the case, anxiety provoking events are common and everywhere. For severe cases of anxiety or panic, which may be due to some form of trauma or even a deeper mental health issue, I would recommend seeing a professional, however for everyday life, there are many techniques that one can use and one of them is 'nudging' We we need it: Many situations in life make us question ourselves i.e our self concept as well as our abilities. Going into a meeting a young graduate may think that they dont belong there or they cannot contribute enough. Similarly a new CEO may wonder if they have what it takes or even if they are meant to run a company. Such self doubt is common and is often accompanied by even questioning ones role or position in particular situation. However often these are situations one can either not avoid, or p...

There is no magic formula to success. We need to work harder and smarter and then there is luck/chance/right place right time. We can not do much about luck but we can surely work on everything else. There are many people who want to be successful in a certain field, but for some reason cant get themselves to be the best. What can we do? Well, as always I believe it is all about convincing ourselves of various truths and realities that we usually ignore. Step 1-Know what you want The first step to being good at something is to know convince yourself that this is something you want to be good at. I once wanted to do a PhD, but my proposal was never accepted. After getting rejected several times I realized that as much as I wanted to be 'known' as a good academic, it is not something that I really wanted to do. I believe I might not have even finished my PhD as I probably would have gotten depressed in between.  To be good at something, we need to give a lot of effor...

I believe in the power of convincing yourself that you can do anything. This alone is the most fundamental belief, the most powerful idea, anyone can have for themselves. It is not about succeeding, as success has luck/chance as a component, but the fact that you will try your very best. No where can this rule be applied more than in Public Speaking. Background One of the first times I was to give a presentation I went on to youtube and watched a business guru speak. He was so active on stage, so smooth and so confident. His attitude showed that he was 'damn sure' that everything he said was true. His confidence was idiotically high and inspiring. Of course, his advice was highly regarded and was truly valuable, but he also knew how to 'sell' that advice. It was brilliant. I watched his videos again and again for a week, practicing my presentation on his behaviour. I emulated him totally. When it came to giving the presentation I was very nervous. Once the present...