Convincing Ourselves

::SPOILERS::: I just finished watching the first and only season of the German/Austrian Netflix Orignal 'Freud'. A reimaging of the early life of Sigmund Freud, before he became famous for his work in psychoanalysis. The show starts off as an autobiography. It shows a young Freud who has just encountered hypnosis and is trying to convince his peer of its powers. The show gives the impression that Freud was a big believer in hypnosis early on and among his peers was the only one who believed that neurosis was due to 'thoughts and beliefs' rather than physiology. This is not entirely accurate, but the show does a good job of portraying him as a genius waiting to be discovered. The show quickly turns into a crime thriller with Freud coming into contact with a group of Hungarian rebels. These Hungarian rebels at first glance seem like trickers playing around with the feelings of people and letting them talk to their dead loved ones through Fleur, the medium. Howeve...

It seems that popular topics find their way into academic circles more often these days. I came across a great example of Harvard Business Review by Reiken et al called “ How Mindfulness Can Help Engineers Solve Problems”. The article has been re-posted several times across a variety of academic sites and it is surely worth a review. To begin with, mindfulness is essentially about living in the moment and paying attention to simply what is. The authors compare linear, or convergent thinking with divergent thinking, where several options are explored on top of the starting point, to generate a number of ideas and hence favours creativity and innovation. The article makes the claim that most engineers are trained to be liner, convergent thinkers and even though it's important, for the best solutions one requires both convergent and divergent thinking. The authors performed two studies to look at the impact of mindfulness meditation, which is an exercise known to...

Is there such a thing as too little food? Well, there is surely is. Eating too little, going on a crash diet or leaving out a food group for no obvious reason are all examples of a haphazard, rash approach to managing health and weight. The main reason why we tend to go for these crash diets are  1. Impatience. 2. We want to look good rather than be healthy. The above two points usually manifests themselves in a ‘deadline’ usually around a wedding, a holiday or some other social event. As important as it might be for our egos to look for other people, the reality is that that we only look as good as we feel, and nothing good comes quick. One of the most extreme ways in which such black and white thinking becomes reality is anorexia and bulimia. Anorexia is, of course, something I myself have struggled with. I have had loved ones who have struggled with Bulimia. Anorexia is essentially a killer, as it has the highest mortality rate of any mental heal...

Business travel brings with it many instances where one has to be out of their comfort zone. Being away from home, one is at the mercy of their surroundings, which at times can be very limiting. As someone who takes a lot of care in eating right and eating well, it often becomes difficult for me to find a balanced meal. This is an issue not only while in the plane or in an airport or train station, but also during business meetings and dinners. Unlike at home, or in one's daily routine, there is little control over the situation. During my previous trip I Took inspiration from Self Hypnosis and related CBT techniques to self regulate what I eat and how much I eat, while keeping my energy levels relatively high. This included several sessions of self hypnosis before I left for the trip which seemingly had little result. However, one on the trip, some positive statements stuck with me in my mind which kept me in check. The results were actually very good. Much better ...

O ne of the very basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is Positive Statements that are used to replace negative statements once they are identified. On the internet, in the self-help space as well as the New Age community, these are known as affirmations. However, I believe those practicing Affirmations can learn a bit from CBT and related therapies such as DBT, and expand the way they talk to themselves. The idea is to give themselves evidence of what they are telling themselves. The simplest way to do this is to add ‘BECAUSE’ after the affirmation or positive statement you are repeating to yourself and improvise from there. For example, if your statement “It's easy for me to eat healthy food”, just add ‘because’ after it…so it becomes “It's easy for me to eat healthy food…because”….eg “I understand the value of health” or “I enjoy healthy food” or “I enjoy taking care of my body” and so on There is really no limit to how many statements you can have after ‘...

Avoiding pain is a great motivator in human beings. Neurologically, in fact, it is a bigger motivator than seeking pleasure. This is more so during childhood phase but is also prevalent throughout life As children we tend to develop habits, solely to survive or to avoid the ‘threat’ of being killed. Human beings are tribal by nature and we survive by being in tribes. A child will copy his peers, to try to fit in. They may dress up as their peers or have the same interests. This is not at all bad as it helps us develop necessary social and life skills. However, a child that has been bullied by kids or abused at home, may want to ‘avoid’ groups as that is where their survival is. They may believe they are safer away from groups, which they view as a threat. A ridiculed child feels useless and unwanted around people and anyone in any tribe that is unwanted is bound to die alone (at least metaphorically these days).  A child who has parents that shower love and attention base...

Whenever we go to therapists or doctors, as to assume we are walking into someones' office who, unlike us mere mortals, knows better and behaves better. It seems like we are the ones who need a flu shot or a prescription for sleep, but the doctors, the therapists, the coaches, always seem to have it together. Is that even possible? A 2008 study "Doctors as patients: a systematic review of doctors' health access and the barriers they experience" by Kay et al , describes how there is little research on the area, but acknowledged that they have as much access to healthcare, especially mental health care, as the general population. There truly exists this 'veneer' that our dentist, our doctors, our upper management, our coaches, anyone we deem more knowledgable, skilled or authority, does not have the problem that we suffer from. The reality I believe is different. Psychologists need help too, and they need it on an ongoing basis, to help solve their o...

Everyone has experienced burnout at least once in their life. Taking on stress for long periods of time will eventually lead to collapse, physically as well as mentally. Burnout is now gaining more recognition among practitioners, however, it remains somewhat taboo in high-performance settings such as Top universities or investment banks. One's capacity to go the extra mile, after all, is expected when competing against the best in the world. However, there is one area where Burnout has been recognized and dealt with effectively for years. Sports. Coaches and sports psychologists have worked with burned-out athletes for decades. After all, Athletes are expecting to eat great, sleep well and rest enough to ensure they can achieve peak performance. Burnout is now recognized among sports and is one of the things coaches consider. The easiest and best way to overcome burnout is of course rest. Regardless of the stress being mental or physical, going on a vacat...

This is part 2 of the Freedom series. Find part 1  here It is interesting how we often make decisions. Not only everyday decisions, such as what to wear or what to eat but even big life decisions. We analyze, study the pros and cons, do a cost-benefit analysis. Some take a long time to make important decisions, others intuitively move forward. During all of these decisions, we often believe that we are in charge of what we decide. After all, we have options, we have choices, what can be more freeing than making your decision? The problem is what we make those choices based on. There can be a number of factors dictating that. Long term plan, upbringing, values, and beliefs. However, in all of the cognitive and behavioral conditioning that might be obvious to us, we often forget the social aspect. I am not talking about social conditioning where we learn beliefs like religion and family values, but the fear of not fitting in. What will they say? What will they think? Th...

Given that its 14th August today (Independence Day of Pakistan), I thought it would be appropriate to make the post about Freedom One of the biggest reasons for depression today is lack of freedom. This can be actual lack of freedom, e.g not having the finances to live on your own, or perceived freedom e.g can't say no to friends. Freedom, the ability to make choices/goals and influence ones own life, is one of the most important needs of humankind. In a traditional hierarchy of needs, I would say it increases in importance throughout the pyramid and supports going up the hierarchy as well. Knowing we can have sex when we want, or eat when we want, provides freedom and enhances capacity to move up the pyramid. Here too, the need for self-actualization is essentially related to self-efficacy i.e the ability to influence one's life. The problem starts when a child feels they cant please their parents no matter how hard they try, or when an employee feels he can't ge...

Exercise is necessary to maintain good health, there are no doubts about that. However many of us find it difficult to stay motivated to exercise long term. However what if there was a way to make exercise more palatable and enhance its benefits even further? Enter Active Alert Hypnosis. A little known and sparsely studied form of hypnosis that is essentially induced with vigorous body movement rather than relaxation. While regular hypnosis helps you ‘ focus and relax ’ , active alert hypnosis helps you ‘ focus and arouse ’ .  It is simple to induce. While exercising, focus on body movements and tell yourself you are becoming ‘ active ’ rather than ‘ relaxed ’ . It will help you go in a sort of ‘ zone ’ while exercising and while in this ‘ zone ’ you can exercise and perform sports activity better. Theoretically, you can also include other hypnotic suggestions as well that have to do with the activity you are doing or anything else So there you have it. Using Ac...

The aim of my blog is to be able to give tools and ideas from psychology that anyone can incorporate in their daily lives to make them better. Knowing the tools is not enough and it is important that you are able to use what you learn here. Luckily, there is nothing as easy to understand and easy to apply, as the power of relationships. We all know that good old friends and loving families make us feel good and keep us grounded. What is even more interesting is how this reality of us being 'social beings' is also a strong point in therapeutic settings. Not only is the idea of having relationships intuitively sound, it is also scientifically sound and clinically important. Therapists know it: All therapists know the importance of relationships. It is commonly understood that a huge part of therapy and their positive effects come through the relationships themselves. The very fact that one is able to talk to a person, or group, openly, without being judged, is a very ...

Well, I am not going to give a solution as to what to do when you are confused and afraid. The idea of writing this blog was not to explain solutions to problem but to show how solutions usually reside within us already. It is we who cannot get out of our internal struggle and make things happen, even when we know the solutions already. We set block up to our growth by imagining an easier, better or simpler solution. By waiting for a magical event or someone out there to help us. If that does not happen, many of us just do into depression and feel victimized. There is nothing worse than feeling victimized. Warriors cannot be victims. We are all warriors after all. How you may ask? well, we may be confused about a future work plan or confused about simple things eg what to eat? or which university to join? All complex decisions [and as frustrating as these moments are], we can always get over these and make a decision. We cannot predict the right outcome, obviously, but we can...

One of the most prominent problems in society today is that we feel we need more. If you are a businessman, you need to grow the business. If you are an athlete, you need to win the biggest prize, if you are a student, you have to be the best. This is a result of the hyper-competitive, individualistic, achievement oriented civilization that we have become. There is nothing wrong with that in itself.  The system has given us great athletes, scientific breakthroughs, wonderful companies that have gone on to make our lives better, medication that has saved lives and world leaders that aspire to work for the greater good. However it has also created a society that is forever looking for the next big thing. The next technique, the next product, the next investment, the next goal, the next prize. For sure this is what human beings and the growth mindset is, but does it really make us happy? To be happy, we need to convince ourselves that we are great, lovable and worth indiv...

No one wants to talk No one wants to talk to other people these days. Watssapp, yes, text em, yes, go and talk .....uumm..maybe some other time. It is no secret that we all want to be individuals, self reliant, and happy in our own little bubble. But human beings were not meant to be this way. In fact, having a good social circle and relationships around us is one of the fail safe ways of achieving happiness. Everyone knows this intrinsically, but are just afraid of it. Why? Bad moments! In any kind of a relationship, there is the 'good', with the 'bad'. Your best friend may have a fight with you, your loving mom's annoying habit of feeding you cake may drive you mad, or your niece is unbearable when she is nagging to take you to the park, however this is completely normal. The problem is that everyone wants to simply cut out the bad and in doing so simply cut out the person from their life. Not only do they leave out the bad but they leave out the 'good...