Convincing Ourselves

The world is currently wrapped up in a pandemic, and an associated economic crisis. With this comes a whole lot of other problems, from logistics, to governance, and of course healthcare. Times are uncertain a lot of people may feel anxious or downright threatened. Its as if everyone is having to tread blind, while surrounded by danger, and no clue when it ends. Moreover, people are not just worried about themselves, but also about their loved ones. This is and of itself is a mental help challenge as well. The whole world is going through an emotional and cognitive crisis and this may have repercussions on our own health and well being as well. If not managed well, just like the health or economic crises, the effects could be lasting. Focus on what you can control: In a situation, where most of the variables are out of your control, one must focus on what can be controlled. This is necessary to bring a sense of control and therefore certainty back to the person. Even in war...

The skepticism to the phenomenon of hypnosis is quite prevalent and for good reason. Hypnosis has the same reputation that perhaps politicians do. Ridiculed by the public imagination and my media in general, you can't deny there are those who have good intentions, but then again there are those who tend to over-promise. There is, of course, significant literature on the uses of hypnosis in therapy and it is, in fact, a common tool. In fact, it is essentially a recognize mind-body therapy and has the same recognition in medical circles that meditation or yoga has. To put it in the bluntest terms, it is considered viable integrative medicine. Apart from my own personal experience, one can go through academic journals and case reports of hypnotherapy patients. Apart from the usual reduction in anxiety or depression, there are numerous cases of people who have been able to quit smoking, give up drinking, resolve irritable bowel syndrome, skin problems and in one case even s...

Business travel brings with it many instances where one has to be out of their comfort zone. Being away from home, one is at the mercy of their surroundings, which at times can be very limiting. As someone who takes a lot of care in eating right and eating well, it often becomes difficult for me to find a balanced meal. This is an issue not only while in the plane or in an airport or train station, but also during business meetings and dinners. Unlike at home, or in one's daily routine, there is little control over the situation. During my previous trip I Took inspiration from Self Hypnosis and related CBT techniques to self regulate what I eat and how much I eat, while keeping my energy levels relatively high. This included several sessions of self hypnosis before I left for the trip which seemingly had little result. However, one on the trip, some positive statements stuck with me in my mind which kept me in check. The results were actually very good. Much better ...

Businesses are increasingly becoming visual. Not just in how they communicate with customers, but all stakeholders for that matter. Training videos have been around for decades, graphics to present financials have become increasingly complex yet explanatory. Even yearly end financial of listed companies sometimes looks like colorful magazines. Business processes have been visualized since the beginning. Instead of just visualizing strategic tools, whole corporate strategies are now presented in visuals. As the world moves into a more media-rich environment, we display screens everywhere, we can only expect this trend to accelerate.  When one looks at the 'self', the usefulness and utility of visualization can actually be even more important. Visualization is a common tool in performance psychology such as when dealing with Athletes. It helps one condition and acclimatizes to a future event and it can also help motivate oneself to achieve a...

Stress and Anxiety can put us in the extreme state of ‘fight or flight’ which prepares our body for short bursts of high intensity. However, the body undergoes considerable stress and therefore requires a counter state to balance and heal the body and the mind.   According to the book ‘Relaxation Response’ by the Harvard physician Herbert Benson, we can help our body relax and take it into a ‘rest and digest’ state. This helps the body and the mind manage stress. This essentially is the principal of most forms of meditation as well as prayer. One of the simplest ways to initiate a ‘Relaxation Response’ is simply to focus on one's breath for a prolonged period of time. As the mind wanders, one brings it back. For me, I can categorically feel when my body’s relaxation response is triggered. Regularly triggering a relaxation response can help overcome most of the scars caused by day to day stress and therefore help us become happier and more productive. Umair Usman ...

Mujeeb was a pottery student in the ancient city of Multan back in ancient times, in one of the earliest known settlements in the world. Growing up in one the great pottery making towns of antiquity, Mujeed had always been fascinated by the crafts. The colours, the intricate designs and the tradition of pottery, had all put a huge impression on him since he was a kid. He was taken under apprenticeship by his Uncle, Ustad Mali, one of the most renowned pottery craftsman of the age, at the very young age of 12. Slowly but surely Mujeeb perfected his skills. He started from learning about the material, ie the earth, water, hay and slowly went up to craft a potting and later on even painting. By the time Mujeeb was 20 years old, he was one of the brightest pottery apprentices in Ustad Malis shop. Mujeeb showed great promise and it was understood that he would grow up to be a master himself. However, Mujeeb wanted more. Mujeeb did not want to be just another pottery craftsman, he wanted...

The Beautiful Journey Jin and Lui were the fiercest fighters at Master Yang's dojo. They had trained at this dojo in a secluded mountain peak since they were both 6 years of age. Being good at Kung Fu had been their sole purpose in life. Now, 20, they both helped glorify the name of Master Yang and his dojo in all the land. However, even though they both were great, there could only ever be one 'Dragon' in all of China, either Jin or Lui. The competition to become the 'Dragon' was the biggest competition in all of China, held once every 25 years, so every generation has one Dragon. Jin and Lui had been practicing for this their whole life. They had sweated and bled together, went through sleepless nights, broken bones, insults and defeats to be able to enter this competition. All the pain had to pay off now, they both thought. In the supervision of Master Yang, Jin and Lui went from one level of the competition to the next. Training continuously, perf...

Confused Confused, indecisive, procrastinate? Sometimes we just cant make sense of things and because we cant make sense of things we don't take action. Of course, nothing is more important than action but when life overwhelms us with choices, information, chores, sometimes it becomes difficult to look past the immediate and take a birds eye view of the grand perspective. There are many such instances where we can simply not think right, ranging from small everyday things, starnge annoyances, all the way to big life decisions eg 1-Buying a new smart phone? --we can be confused about specs, pricing, plans etc 2-Eating out, where to go?-- what to eat, why to go there? 3-Do my classmates hate me? --why do they laugh at me? why do I have so few friends? 3-Which university to go to? --what will it cost, what will be the return, how far will it be from home? etc etc etc Once we convince ourselves that there is a path forward, we can break through all the clutter and cle...

I believe everyone should read this simple and short blog post of mine before they start university. I am not intending to give 'self help' and 'personal growth' advice over here. There are millions of books and webpages out there. All I want you to do is to look into yourself and hear what you say. That is it. Hear what you say to yourself. Do you tell yourself you will be the next Steve Jobs? do you tell yourself that you will be the best athlete at the school? or do you tell yourself you will out do everyone in the class? whatever it is, good luck and I hope you achieve it but remember that you know exactly how to achieve it. There are no short cuts in life and if you are smart enough to be going to university, you already know this. However like anyone, you may need a reminder. You know how much you have to give to reach your goals, you know who to talk to, you know what is to be done. Do not just dream, follow your inner wise person and do it. You ar...

One of the most prominent problems in society today is that we feel we need more. If you are a businessman, you need to grow the business. If you are an athlete, you need to win the biggest prize, if you are a student, you have to be the best. This is a result of the hyper-competitive, individualistic, achievement oriented civilization that we have become. There is nothing wrong with that in itself.  The system has given us great athletes, scientific breakthroughs, wonderful companies that have gone on to make our lives better, medication that has saved lives and world leaders that aspire to work for the greater good. However it has also created a society that is forever looking for the next big thing. The next technique, the next product, the next investment, the next goal, the next prize. For sure this is what human beings and the growth mindset is, but does it really make us happy? To be happy, we need to convince ourselves that we are great, lovable and worth indiv...

Why do we enjoy some things and no others? well, there are two reasons. We like to do things that are easy, but not too easy. This depends not only at the task at hand but also to our own ability to do the task. This is why, if we are good at a board game, but its challenging, we get hooked. It is also the same reason why we like to play sports with someone who can challenge us, but is not so much better  than us that we get frustrated. If we are able to convince ourselves that the task at hand is easy, in a challenging sort of way, it will become engaging and to some extent fun as well. We can convince ourselves for this kind of thinking for any task. It can be cleaning the dishes, or even talking a walk. Its fun, because its invigoratingly easy! To repeat, it is not about thinking or hoping that something that is hard becomes automatically easy (if that works for you, good enough) but acknowledging that it is tough, yet fun and challenging. When we say it is ea...

No one wants to talk No one wants to talk to other people these days. Watssapp, yes, text em, yes, go and talk .....uumm..maybe some other time. It is no secret that we all want to be individuals, self reliant, and happy in our own little bubble. But human beings were not meant to be this way. In fact, having a good social circle and relationships around us is one of the fail safe ways of achieving happiness. Everyone knows this intrinsically, but are just afraid of it. Why? Bad moments! In any kind of a relationship, there is the 'good', with the 'bad'. Your best friend may have a fight with you, your loving mom's annoying habit of feeding you cake may drive you mad, or your niece is unbearable when she is nagging to take you to the park, however this is completely normal. The problem is that everyone wants to simply cut out the bad and in doing so simply cut out the person from their life. Not only do they leave out the bad but they leave out the 'good...

Some times it does get hard to convince oneself of the reality. It gets hard to keep our negative self talk under control or perhaps the loss is so great or the event so emotional, that it makes us question our long held positive beliefs. These are times when people end up at therapy, or get depressed. However there are other ways to manage the most difficult phases in life. As you know, I do not like to give a 'one size fits all solution' to a problem and encourage us to know how to effectively 'convince ourselves' of positive reality, to give ourselves helpful thoughts, in anyway possible, so we can deal with a situation. What I mention below however is not a technique but the most fundamental way of being happy. The best way to remain happy, or to remain positive after a failure, or to remind yourself that your life is still full of love, is to ensure that you have great and loving friends and family around you.  This is the most powerful resource we have as hu...