Convincing Ourselves

I recently came across the idea of Energizing Meditation (EM) in the "National Council for hypnotherapy Journal SUMMER EDITION". The protocol has been proposed by Howard Baron, a retired management consultant, whom I believe still dabbles in workshops and corporate training. While traditional meditation is about staying mindful and relaxing, Energizing Meditation (EM) aims to converse and boost one's energy. Basically, you are to feel 'energized' after an EM session. Howard has an interest in managing oneself under highly stressful situations, and I can see how he came up with the protocol in order to ensure managers and leadership can function in the best manner when confronted with difficulty (we are talking oil spills and disasters here!). Given Howard's background is in management consultancy, I feel Energizing Meditation (EM) is worth looking into. The protocol has been deliberately keeping very open and flexible because he rightfully believes...

::SPOILERS::: I just finished watching the first and only season of the German/Austrian Netflix Orignal 'Freud'. A reimaging of the early life of Sigmund Freud, before he became famous for his work in psychoanalysis. The show starts off as an autobiography. It shows a young Freud who has just encountered hypnosis and is trying to convince his peer of its powers. The show gives the impression that Freud was a big believer in hypnosis early on and among his peers was the only one who believed that neurosis was due to 'thoughts and beliefs' rather than physiology. This is not entirely accurate, but the show does a good job of portraying him as a genius waiting to be discovered. The show quickly turns into a crime thriller with Freud coming into contact with a group of Hungarian rebels. These Hungarian rebels at first glance seem like trickers playing around with the feelings of people and letting them talk to their dead loved ones through Fleur, the medium. Howeve...

It is well understood in psychology that our beliefs, especially those formed in childhood can have a great impact on our behaviour and choices later on in life. Even though Cognitive Behavioral Therapist may not deal with issues from the past, and in certain cases you may not need to, it is well acknowledged that it does occur in traditional psychotherapy as well as literature. With my experience with individuals, I have also come across individuals who are struggling with certain behaviors and choices presently, that stem from beliefs and experiences in early life. Below I will give a fictional account of what that may look like in order to help readers understand how such beliefs can be formed, and how they may be invisible to the individual themselves. Fictional Account: Laura, 35, is a middle manager at a local chain of retail stores. She comes from an upper-middle-class background, and both her parents were immigrants and doctors. Laura had two more siblings. A...

The skepticism to the phenomenon of hypnosis is quite prevalent and for good reason. Hypnosis has the same reputation that perhaps politicians do. Ridiculed by the public imagination and my media in general, you can't deny there are those who have good intentions, but then again there are those who tend to over-promise. There is, of course, significant literature on the uses of hypnosis in therapy and it is, in fact, a common tool. In fact, it is essentially a recognize mind-body therapy and has the same recognition in medical circles that meditation or yoga has. To put it in the bluntest terms, it is considered viable integrative medicine. Apart from my own personal experience, one can go through academic journals and case reports of hypnotherapy patients. Apart from the usual reduction in anxiety or depression, there are numerous cases of people who have been able to quit smoking, give up drinking, resolve irritable bowel syndrome, skin problems and in one case even s...

Below is an abstract of the paper I wrote for " Telling the story of business: story-driven research in entrepreneurship, business, and marketing",  held at the University of South Wales in January 2020.  ================================================================= A Narrative Inquiry into the role of psychological factors in helping a Pakistani Family Business owner-manager, navigate turbulent market conditions   By Umair Usman, Usman Carpet House, Lahore, Pakistan Abstract This is an ethnographic narrative inquiry to identify the psychological factors that helped my father, a Pakistan family business owner-manager, through the great recession of 2006/2007. The study is retrospective in nature where I discuss my time, as a part of the family business during this period we experienced. I recall what I observed, and experienced, were psychological and mental factors that were inherent in my father and supported him through this...

It seems that popular topics find their way into academic circles more often these days. I came across a great example of Harvard Business Review by Reiken et al called “ How Mindfulness Can Help Engineers Solve Problems”. The article has been re-posted several times across a variety of academic sites and it is surely worth a review. To begin with, mindfulness is essentially about living in the moment and paying attention to simply what is. The authors compare linear, or convergent thinking with divergent thinking, where several options are explored on top of the starting point, to generate a number of ideas and hence favours creativity and innovation. The article makes the claim that most engineers are trained to be liner, convergent thinkers and even though it's important, for the best solutions one requires both convergent and divergent thinking. The authors performed two studies to look at the impact of mindfulness meditation, which is an exercise known to...

We have fitness programs all over the internet as well as a course to help you improve life. For a small fee, you can be in the best shape possible, achieve brilliant time management and even maybe get over procrastination. However, the idea, that like a pill, you can pay for a self-help book or an online program to change everything, well, is a bit misleading. This is because knowledge is great and so is a fitness course, gym membership, or a health retreat, but unless you apply it, make it a part of your life, it's not gonna do much. At least not for long. To create a change of behavior, we need to put  continuous ongoing effort  into whatever it is we want to achieve. We have to remain conscious, or mindful, of what it is we want and what we need to do to make it happen. Doing something once, or learning something on a new course, alone cannot change your life forever. This is why Self-help books, courses, etc, all give one short term results. Contrast t...

Anxiety is everywhere and for some people all the time. We get anxious if we have to talk in a social setting, anxious for assignments, anxious sometimes for no reason at all. However, there is a way to use anxiety for our advantage. A wonderful 2014 research study by Alison Wood Brooks from the Harvard Business School revealed something very interesting. Alison asked participants to either say and feel, ‘I am anxious', ‘I am excited’ and nothing at all, before a task. The results were shocking. Those that were asked to say and believe that they are excited we're able to perform better on various tasks, from singing to a math problem. According to Alison, it is easier to go from one arousal state (anxiety) to another (excited) rather than cooling down and therefore this helps individuals perform better. Now this research can be critiqued for many reasons, however, the implications can be impressive. When feeling anxious, all we need to do is to say out loud, and b...

                                               Magic The legend of the magic lamp was very famous around the Baghdad bazaar. Tribesmen, tradesmen, women and children, everyone has heard about the magic lamp buried somewhere in  the desert. Anyone who possessed the magic lamp, would be able to command the genie to do anything they wanted.  It was rumored that the magnificent palace of Baghdad was built by the genie of the lamp when the Sultan possessed the lamp. The lamp was lost by the Sultan during a battle in Mosul. He searched for it for a 100 days and nights and returned empty handed from that battle. It is believed that the lamp is still buried somewhere in that desert.Many had tried to search for it themselves, wasting away time, money and energy, but never found it. Ali Shah was just another boy. He used to hawk oil lamps in the Baghdad ...

Confused Confused, indecisive, procrastinate? Sometimes we just cant make sense of things and because we cant make sense of things we don't take action. Of course, nothing is more important than action but when life overwhelms us with choices, information, chores, sometimes it becomes difficult to look past the immediate and take a birds eye view of the grand perspective. There are many such instances where we can simply not think right, ranging from small everyday things, starnge annoyances, all the way to big life decisions eg 1-Buying a new smart phone? --we can be confused about specs, pricing, plans etc 2-Eating out, where to go?-- what to eat, why to go there? 3-Do my classmates hate me? --why do they laugh at me? why do I have so few friends? 3-Which university to go to? --what will it cost, what will be the return, how far will it be from home? etc etc etc Once we convince ourselves that there is a path forward, we can break through all the clutter and cle...

I believe everyone should read this simple and short blog post of mine before they start university. I am not intending to give 'self help' and 'personal growth' advice over here. There are millions of books and webpages out there. All I want you to do is to look into yourself and hear what you say. That is it. Hear what you say to yourself. Do you tell yourself you will be the next Steve Jobs? do you tell yourself that you will be the best athlete at the school? or do you tell yourself you will out do everyone in the class? whatever it is, good luck and I hope you achieve it but remember that you know exactly how to achieve it. There are no short cuts in life and if you are smart enough to be going to university, you already know this. However like anyone, you may need a reminder. You know how much you have to give to reach your goals, you know who to talk to, you know what is to be done. Do not just dream, follow your inner wise person and do it. You ar...

One of the most prominent problems in society today is that we feel we need more. If you are a businessman, you need to grow the business. If you are an athlete, you need to win the biggest prize, if you are a student, you have to be the best. This is a result of the hyper-competitive, individualistic, achievement oriented civilization that we have become. There is nothing wrong with that in itself.  The system has given us great athletes, scientific breakthroughs, wonderful companies that have gone on to make our lives better, medication that has saved lives and world leaders that aspire to work for the greater good. However it has also created a society that is forever looking for the next big thing. The next technique, the next product, the next investment, the next goal, the next prize. For sure this is what human beings and the growth mindset is, but does it really make us happy? To be happy, we need to convince ourselves that we are great, lovable and worth indiv...

Why do we enjoy some things and no others? well, there are two reasons. We like to do things that are easy, but not too easy. This depends not only at the task at hand but also to our own ability to do the task. This is why, if we are good at a board game, but its challenging, we get hooked. It is also the same reason why we like to play sports with someone who can challenge us, but is not so much better  than us that we get frustrated. If we are able to convince ourselves that the task at hand is easy, in a challenging sort of way, it will become engaging and to some extent fun as well. We can convince ourselves for this kind of thinking for any task. It can be cleaning the dishes, or even talking a walk. Its fun, because its invigoratingly easy! To repeat, it is not about thinking or hoping that something that is hard becomes automatically easy (if that works for you, good enough) but acknowledging that it is tough, yet fun and challenging. When we say it is ea...

No one wants to talk No one wants to talk to other people these days. Watssapp, yes, text em, yes, go and talk .....uumm..maybe some other time. It is no secret that we all want to be individuals, self reliant, and happy in our own little bubble. But human beings were not meant to be this way. In fact, having a good social circle and relationships around us is one of the fail safe ways of achieving happiness. Everyone knows this intrinsically, but are just afraid of it. Why? Bad moments! In any kind of a relationship, there is the 'good', with the 'bad'. Your best friend may have a fight with you, your loving mom's annoying habit of feeding you cake may drive you mad, or your niece is unbearable when she is nagging to take you to the park, however this is completely normal. The problem is that everyone wants to simply cut out the bad and in doing so simply cut out the person from their life. Not only do they leave out the bad but they leave out the 'good...

Everything we do starts with a question. How will we get that job? how can we start to get fit? how do I grow my company? There are so many questions we have to deal with regularly and often it seems that we have no answers. This sense of 'not knowing' is a big source of demotivation to get something started in the first place. We get so overwhelmed by the problem, the unknown and the task ahead that we either try to find a short cut, that never works, or we delay our plans further ahead. Days, weeks, months and even years go by before we even take  a step in the right direction. However the reality is that we do know the answers to many questions, problems and issues we face. They might not be perfect solutions, as one cannot always get a perfect answer to everything, but certainly these answers can help us set foot in the right direction. Let us look at common issues one by one. How do I lose weight? the answer to this question is not rocket science and not beyond the...

Everyone truly knows the path to money, health and wealth. There is no secret to it. People have known how to achieve these things since the dawn of time, yet the reason why so many people are searching for the answer is that they are searching for the 'easy answer'. Everyone is truly out there looking for the shortcut to success, fame, wealth, fitness, weight goals, achievements etc. There truly are people who  get lucky and there truly are ways that can get you to your goals quicker, however the underlying principle is hard work, patience and a general positive attitude. We have convinced ourselves that there is a short cut and it is somewhere out there. We look for that short cut all our lives, waste years and years looking for it until others, who go through the pain, the hard work and at the same time, have fun, seem to get all the rewards, slowly but surely, beating us to the goal post, over and over again. Let us look into different areas of life separately and see...