Convincing Ourselves

We have fitness programs all over the internet as well as a course to help you improve life. For a small fee, you can be in the best shape possible, achieve brilliant time management and even maybe get over procrastination. However, the idea, that like a pill, you can pay for a self-help book or an online program to change everything, well, is a bit misleading. This is because knowledge is great and so is a fitness course, gym membership, or a health retreat, but unless you apply it, make it a part of your life, it's not gonna do much. At least not for long. To create a change of behavior, we need to put  continuous ongoing effort  into whatever it is we want to achieve. We have to remain conscious, or mindful, of what it is we want and what we need to do to make it happen. Doing something once, or learning something on a new course, alone cannot change your life forever. This is why Self-help books, courses, etc, all give one short term results. Contrast t...

The Instagram fueled modern times of ours has lead to so many fad diets that it's hard to keep count. From Atkins and Keto to Vegan and even raw food, there is so much misleading information out there and people are so hungry for a quick fix, as well as for validation and acceptance, that most have tried at least one of these. The reality, however, is not that different from the early days of the exercise machine fad. Since the 80s late-night commercials have promised us the holy grail of fitness by selling us some cheap plastic exercise machine. Those days are well behind us as most have realized that the answer to fitness has been all around us. The bottom line was that there is no easy or painless way to health and everyone's path truly differs. The same goes for food. There truly is no holy grail where one can follow a diet and achieve glowing skin, muscular strength, excellent mood, and longevity. Even reading this sentence makes it obvious how diets have sold t...

When one looks at high achievers, it is easy to get impressed. Finance CEOs, Athletes, movie stars, they all seem to lead a life where everything is perfect. One can even look at societies with high incomes and living standards with disproportionate levels of depression and wonder, what's going on. The big difference is that we think we can get happiness out of achievement or any one thing. We tend to think in terms of extremes because the world values achievement more than anything. We tend to tell ourselves “Only if we exercise 1hr a day and eat healthily, I will be happy” “Only if I am making a certain amount, I would be happy ” And so on After a while, we look back and see all the things we missed out on. Our health suffers, our relations suffer and sometimes even the very pursuit of perfection in all areas of life burns us out. The reality is we are not happy by achievement, or health or perfection or even great relationships. We are happy when life is ...

Everyone talks to themselves. Some do it loudly, others do it in the mind. Some consciously and some unconsciously. What we tell ourselves shapes our whole life. Nothing is more important than making sure we tell ourselves the right thing. This is an important aspect of performance psychology as well. When a student is studying for an exam, they might tell themselves that their struggle makes them a loser.  An Athlete may be going through a bad patch. and tell themselves they don't have it anymore. A person sitting bored in an office may mistake his boredom as anxiety as there is nothing to do.  So what to do?  When we are not taking action, we are telling ourselves something wrong. Adjusting our self-talk, therefore, helps us not only feel better but take actual action. The student can look at their struggle as a normal aspect of preparation, the athlete can tell themselves that success is right around the corner, while the office worker may build a...

The Scam: Ah, law of attraction and other similar self help scams. So common now on the internet and the self help section of any book store. They have tonnes of money by playing on people's emotions. Tell people its easy and they will buy it! This is the same trick used by fitness product promoters and TV commercials and it has worked well for decades. As soon as you find out that this is not the 'answer to everything', you start seeking the next 'quick or easy fix''. Its a dirty trick and plays on our search for easy answers, the magic pills, and the easy answers. They say losing weight is as easy as a few minutes on this machine, or getting rich is as easy as visualizing, and before you know it, you have giving out your cash and realized soon enough that this is not the answer you were looking for. So what gives? is this all fake? is law of attraction or the self help motivational books nothing but a waster of time? Yes and No: There is a lot o...

Mujeeb was a pottery student in the ancient city of Multan back in ancient times, in one of the earliest known settlements in the world. Growing up in one the great pottery making towns of antiquity, Mujeed had always been fascinated by the crafts. The colours, the intricate designs and the tradition of pottery, had all put a huge impression on him since he was a kid. He was taken under apprenticeship by his Uncle, Ustad Mali, one of the most renowned pottery craftsman of the age, at the very young age of 12. Slowly but surely Mujeeb perfected his skills. He started from learning about the material, ie the earth, water, hay and slowly went up to craft a potting and later on even painting. By the time Mujeeb was 20 years old, he was one of the brightest pottery apprentices in Ustad Malis shop. Mujeeb showed great promise and it was understood that he would grow up to be a master himself. However, Mujeeb wanted more. Mujeeb did not want to be just another pottery craftsman, he wanted...

Well, I am not going to give a solution as to what to do when you are confused and afraid. The idea of writing this blog was not to explain solutions to problem but to show how solutions usually reside within us already. It is we who cannot get out of our internal struggle and make things happen, even when we know the solutions already. We set block up to our growth by imagining an easier, better or simpler solution. By waiting for a magical event or someone out there to help us. If that does not happen, many of us just do into depression and feel victimized. There is nothing worse than feeling victimized. Warriors cannot be victims. We are all warriors after all. How you may ask? well, we may be confused about a future work plan or confused about simple things eg what to eat? or which university to join? All complex decisions [and as frustrating as these moments are], we can always get over these and make a decision. We cannot predict the right outcome, obviously, but we can...

Why do we enjoy some things and no others? well, there are two reasons. We like to do things that are easy, but not too easy. This depends not only at the task at hand but also to our own ability to do the task. This is why, if we are good at a board game, but its challenging, we get hooked. It is also the same reason why we like to play sports with someone who can challenge us, but is not so much better  than us that we get frustrated. If we are able to convince ourselves that the task at hand is easy, in a challenging sort of way, it will become engaging and to some extent fun as well. We can convince ourselves for this kind of thinking for any task. It can be cleaning the dishes, or even talking a walk. Its fun, because its invigoratingly easy! To repeat, it is not about thinking or hoping that something that is hard becomes automatically easy (if that works for you, good enough) but acknowledging that it is tough, yet fun and challenging. When we say it is ea...