Convincing Ourselves

Resilience is a concept almost synonymous with positive psychology and I feel it is important to discuss resilience, given the Covid-19 environment we are in right now. Resilience is of course the ability to bounce back from adversity. Putting yourself together and rising up, after one has fallen down. Resilience is considered an essential quality for soldiers on the battlefield, sports teams, individuals as well as businesses. The reason for this is simple, adversity is inevitable. It is inevitable that a business, organization, individual entrepreneur, or even a non-profit, will through a period of adversity. This adversity can take many forms. It could be due to legislation that changes the industry completely, it could be due to intense competition, a natural disaster perhaps or a macroeconomic situation. It can also be internal, eg a PR error by the CEO, an accounting scandal, and on. Whatever industry one is in, no matter how big or small the business, adversity and h...

Avoiding pain is a great motivator in human beings. Neurologically, in fact, it is a bigger motivator than seeking pleasure. This is more so during childhood phase but is also prevalent throughout life As children we tend to develop habits, solely to survive or to avoid the ‘threat’ of being killed. Human beings are tribal by nature and we survive by being in tribes. A child will copy his peers, to try to fit in. They may dress up as their peers or have the same interests. This is not at all bad as it helps us develop necessary social and life skills. However, a child that has been bullied by kids or abused at home, may want to ‘avoid’ groups as that is where their survival is. They may believe they are safer away from groups, which they view as a threat. A ridiculed child feels useless and unwanted around people and anyone in any tribe that is unwanted is bound to die alone (at least metaphorically these days).  A child who has parents that shower love and attention base...

There still exists a lot of trauma and stigma surrounding mental health, especially in developing countries. People are not only unaware of what mental health is, once they are, but they also shy away from going to a professional with the belief that they themselves or their loved ones might think that they are 'handicapped' or 'not normal'. However, it is important to recognize that ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. Mental Health issues take a toll on families, organizations and society at large. It is important to realize that mental health issues are common and prevalent. They come in all shapes and sizes and lay on a continuum from something as small as anxiety to something as deadly as anorexia. Ignoring mental health issues can have devastating effects. One example of how mental disorders can impact physical health is anorexia and bulimia, deemed one of the most deadly psychological disorders out there. Having an anorexic child often leaves...

Success and greatness are never assured, but there are lessons always to be learned from failure. In the business world, there are plenty of failures to learn from. Often we see individuals, business people and companies believe in a particular future, objective, strategy or product, often pouring in inhumane amounts of time and an obnoxious amount of money. This belief and singularity of focus is one the most important factors in the success of any endeavor, however many don’t make it till the end. The reason is that they give up too early. A great example can be that of the MP3 player. Many companies had tried and pretty much given up such as ‘The listen up player’ or the MPMan. Early versions of an MP3 player that never took off until Apple came along. Of course, by the time Apple came along, the internet was faster and MP3 was widely accepted. Apple also came along with a store, however, any number of companies, such as Sony (which had its own back catalog) were much bett...

Psychology, in general, is based on the same paradigm as medicine in general. The patient develops a problem, you diagnose it and help the patient heal. A new paradigm emerged a few decades back which is about prevention, where an attempt is made to catch a disease early on or prevent it from ever happening. Both these paradigms were well adapted to psychology in general and organizational psychology in particular. Not only were mental health professionals helping employees deal with stress and anxiety, but they were making sure the workplace is vibrant and healthy enough to help avoid depression and ensure as many needs of the employees are met as possible. The new paradigm A third paradigm has now developed in psychology about 2 decades ago, called 'Positive Psychology'. While traditional psychology is mostly concerned with mental illness, positive psychology is concerned with building on an individual's strengths and helping them lead meaningful lives. In o...

We have fitness programs all over the internet as well as a course to help you improve life. For a small fee, you can be in the best shape possible, achieve brilliant time management and even maybe get over procrastination. However, the idea, that like a pill, you can pay for a self-help book or an online program to change everything, well, is a bit misleading. This is because knowledge is great and so is a fitness course, gym membership, or a health retreat, but unless you apply it, make it a part of your life, it's not gonna do much. At least not for long. To create a change of behavior, we need to put  continuous ongoing effort  into whatever it is we want to achieve. We have to remain conscious, or mindful, of what it is we want and what we need to do to make it happen. Doing something once, or learning something on a new course, alone cannot change your life forever. This is why Self-help books, courses, etc, all give one short term results. Contrast t...

The Instagram fueled modern times of ours has lead to so many fad diets that it's hard to keep count. From Atkins and Keto to Vegan and even raw food, there is so much misleading information out there and people are so hungry for a quick fix, as well as for validation and acceptance, that most have tried at least one of these. The reality, however, is not that different from the early days of the exercise machine fad. Since the 80s late-night commercials have promised us the holy grail of fitness by selling us some cheap plastic exercise machine. Those days are well behind us as most have realized that the answer to fitness has been all around us. The bottom line was that there is no easy or painless way to health and everyone's path truly differs. The same goes for food. There truly is no holy grail where one can follow a diet and achieve glowing skin, muscular strength, excellent mood, and longevity. Even reading this sentence makes it obvious how diets have sold t...

Everyone has experienced burnout at least once in their life. Taking on stress for long periods of time will eventually lead to collapse, physically as well as mentally. Burnout is now gaining more recognition among practitioners, however, it remains somewhat taboo in high-performance settings such as Top universities or investment banks. One's capacity to go the extra mile, after all, is expected when competing against the best in the world. However, there is one area where Burnout has been recognized and dealt with effectively for years. Sports. Coaches and sports psychologists have worked with burned-out athletes for decades. After all, Athletes are expecting to eat great, sleep well and rest enough to ensure they can achieve peak performance. Burnout is now recognized among sports and is one of the things coaches consider. The easiest and best way to overcome burnout is of course rest. Regardless of the stress being mental or physical, going on a vacat...

Businesses are increasingly becoming visual. Not just in how they communicate with customers, but all stakeholders for that matter. Training videos have been around for decades, graphics to present financials have become increasingly complex yet explanatory. Even yearly end financial of listed companies sometimes looks like colorful magazines. Business processes have been visualized since the beginning. Instead of just visualizing strategic tools, whole corporate strategies are now presented in visuals. As the world moves into a more media-rich environment, we display screens everywhere, we can only expect this trend to accelerate.  When one looks at the 'self', the usefulness and utility of visualization can actually be even more important. Visualization is a common tool in performance psychology such as when dealing with Athletes. It helps one condition and acclimatizes to a future event and it can also help motivate oneself to achieve a...

Many people go around life aimlessly. Comparing themselves to others, not knowing what the next day, month or year will bring for them. There is a sense of being unfulfilled or unhappy, often resulting in depression in the most extreme form. For most people, the reason is simple. They simply have no goals No goals for their life, no goals for their health, no goals for their profession. Without a set goal and path, we simply lack a direction and a purpose. This not only results in confusion but also anxiety and depression. One of the reasons ‘life coaching’ is so big now is because a lot of the uncertainty and anxiety that people face in everyday life has to do with not unfulfilled goals, but simply not even knowing what they really want. Having goals differentiates purposeful living from living aimlessly. It is perhaps the easiest and quickest key to overcoming paralysis, procrastination, and unhappiness and moving towards success that is personally gratifying. The quest...

This is part 2 of the Freedom series. Find part 1  here It is interesting how we often make decisions. Not only everyday decisions, such as what to wear or what to eat but even big life decisions. We analyze, study the pros and cons, do a cost-benefit analysis. Some take a long time to make important decisions, others intuitively move forward. During all of these decisions, we often believe that we are in charge of what we decide. After all, we have options, we have choices, what can be more freeing than making your decision? The problem is what we make those choices based on. There can be a number of factors dictating that. Long term plan, upbringing, values, and beliefs. However, in all of the cognitive and behavioral conditioning that might be obvious to us, we often forget the social aspect. I am not talking about social conditioning where we learn beliefs like religion and family values, but the fear of not fitting in. What will they say? What will they think? Th...

Given that its 14th August today (Independence Day of Pakistan), I thought it would be appropriate to make the post about Freedom One of the biggest reasons for depression today is lack of freedom. This can be actual lack of freedom, e.g not having the finances to live on your own, or perceived freedom e.g can't say no to friends. Freedom, the ability to make choices/goals and influence ones own life, is one of the most important needs of humankind. In a traditional hierarchy of needs, I would say it increases in importance throughout the pyramid and supports going up the hierarchy as well. Knowing we can have sex when we want, or eat when we want, provides freedom and enhances capacity to move up the pyramid. Here too, the need for self-actualization is essentially related to self-efficacy i.e the ability to influence one's life. The problem starts when a child feels they cant please their parents no matter how hard they try, or when an employee feels he can't ge...

Stress and Anxiety can put us in the extreme state of ‘fight or flight’ which prepares our body for short bursts of high intensity. However, the body undergoes considerable stress and therefore requires a counter state to balance and heal the body and the mind.   According to the book ‘Relaxation Response’ by the Harvard physician Herbert Benson, we can help our body relax and take it into a ‘rest and digest’ state. This helps the body and the mind manage stress. This essentially is the principal of most forms of meditation as well as prayer. One of the simplest ways to initiate a ‘Relaxation Response’ is simply to focus on one's breath for a prolonged period of time. As the mind wanders, one brings it back. For me, I can categorically feel when my body’s relaxation response is triggered. Regularly triggering a relaxation response can help overcome most of the scars caused by day to day stress and therefore help us become happier and more productive. Umair Usman ...