Is Pride necessary? (for success)

The idea of having healthy levels of self-esteem, self-worth, and confidence is well recognized in psychology literature. In fact, since at least the 70s there has been a lot of work done on this and for a few decades raising self-esteem and self-worth was considered pivotal in treating clients with psychological disorders, bringing up healthy children, and even success in general. The idea of 'ego strengthening', as it came to be known in hypnosis literature, was ubiquitous in almost all kinds of therapy and change.

However, while going through some videos of Jordan Peterson discussing the idea of social hierarchies and going through some literature on related ideas, I begun to wonder if ego strengthening alone is enough, or perhaps have we defined it well enough.

Success in a society means being on top of the social hierarchy. You are the CEO, the Politician, or were born in or married into money and power. Whatever shame or form it takes, success is being on top of the ladder. A certain mindset creates the need to get to the top but in a true circular fashion, being on top also may make you want to stay on top. Being on top has a certain 'Pride' attached to it and not being on top has a certain 'shame'. The manifestation of these emotions, however, can be rather ugly at times.

In the olden days, a woman would be considered as successful as the husband she could marry into. All sorts of games would be played, seduction methods applied, to be able to the very eligible bachelor. The same with men, who would do whatever it takes to get to the top and get the hand of the daughter of the duke or the one considered most beautiful and so on. Winners are full of pride while losers have to do with the shame of not being at the top.

The question therefore is, if it has been assumed that strengthening one's ego, self-esteem and worth of themselves can lead to all sorts of benefits, including success (of course I am simplifying here), can the emotion of pride help? or is the emotion of pride itself a necessary outcome of excellent self-esteem? or perhaps without an emotion of pride or fear of shame, one can have a high worth of self but not a success?

I would like to guess that the reality probably lies somewhere in the middle. A higher sense of self-esteem and worth is paramount for anyone. But an emotion of pride with one's efforts, outcomes, oneself may also be necessary when pursuing success or remaining successful. In this case, when I say Pride, I do not mean where one goes around belittling everyone knowing that they are at the top, and boasting about their achievements, but being confident about one's position in society, being excited what one does for a living and knowing that you are the best without everyone being beneath you because they are not at the top. As paradoxical as it sounds, being comfortable happy with oneself, proud of oneself, without hurting other people, is a good position to be as it may be a sign of great self-esteem and intrinsic motivation with a healthy balance of pride.

All of this considering, you are looking to climb the social hierarchy or at least be competitive, in the first place. Which you should. Whether or not pride is an actual need or necessary for healthy living is a discussion for another time.

Umair Usman is a Rapid Transformational Therapy Practitioner, a businessperson, and a blogger. You can know more about him at www.thecognitiveconsultants.com. To book a free consultancy session, please fill the form https://tinyurl.com/y6n2vv8w